Tears are in her eyes

Sometimes all we needed was just someone to hold and to talk to.. 

I'm beginning to see the sadness in your eyes yet I'm unable to be patient enough to stay on.. I wish I could've been better, made you feel happier..... 

"The emotion that breaks your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it" Nicholas Sparks.

Who's gonna tell you when it's too late?

As I grow older, I'm beginning to realize how words can actually hurt (intentionally or not). Sensitivity plays a part to how one perceives a sentence as well. 

All I can say is that "Respect, once lost. Can hardly be obtained again." 

Rumor has it she ain't got it;

It's been close to 2 months since I started working and I'm still as careless and slow with my work. Sometimes I don't get what's wrong with my eyes nor my mind. I've gotta be more careful!! Jiayou! 

Best company ever!

My colleagues treated me Domino's lunch for my last day at work today! 

We ordered Hawaiian Paradise & Classified Chicken. I like that the latter pizza has a creamy cheesy flavor! Their twisted breadstix is sprinkled with cheese powder and it would definitely taste better toasted! 

Domino's delivers your pizza in 30 minutes and any minute later, you'll be given a free pizza on the house! Though the down side is that they provide additional chili flakes yet none for cheese powder.

 We also bought Pokka green tea from the convenience store just below our office and I must say that the new version of it without sugar really tastes soooo much better! It's just Japanese green tea chilled. One sip on it and it's decided that I'll never want to drink the original one anymore. 

        Went for a once-in-a-blue-moon jog around my neighbourhood and I passed by the same man after 20 minutes and he only managed to cover about 5m distance. It struck me that we will all grow old one day, and it's up to how you take care of yourself now and what fates lies for you in future. 

From my instagram @raayche :

I am thankful that I can see the moon shining ever so brightly while feeling the evening breeze in my hair. More importantly, I am blessed to have a healthy body that doesn't fail it's functions on me, enabling me to enjoy this sight with ease. As the saying goes "Live quietly in the moment and see the beauty of all before you. The future will take care of itself."

It's been a memorable & thankful day for me as I am glad that I have met my wonderful colleagues and felt how it is like to work in a company that doesn't have any hierarchy and politics. This is the first time I felt so reluctant to leave but as my contract was over, indeed all good things must come to an end.

I sure have gained valuable insights that will be engraved in my memory & that genuinely nice people still, and do exist in this wretched world. :')

Consideration

My daily dose of enriching quotes that my colleague sends me everyday. 

Today's quote : Being considerate.

After last night's 2.5hrs interview.. I have been feeling so silly and cheated by allowing the boss to mentally challenge myself by lowering my expected salary and furthering the interviewing session.

But that's just how every bosses are, isn't it? They just want to lower their labour costs and get every bit out of their workers. 

I was wrong to not reject too.. I've gotta learn to speak up and protect myself in future cause this truly is a man-eat-man world. 

I hope I won't be like him though, cause it really was an inconsiderate and insensitive gestures displayed last night. 

Oh well.. Lesson learnt the hard way..

We are the ones who have strayed

Ever since I've joined SOSD (Save Our Street Dogs), I'm beginning to be more aware of the stray dogs than I ever was. Spending every Tuesday's with them was short, yet sweet for me and I always want to stay back longer to spend more time with every one of them. But as I am not a regular, and strays are at an entirely different league as compared to domestic or even pedigree dogs, I didn't.

One needs to have an authoritative and confidence aurora in them as these dogs are extremely sensitive to a person's emotions and may react accordingly which requires the handler's calm mind and experience to handle it. Eg, I've learnt that it's not okay for dogs to jump up on you when they are happy as it could lead to them being rougher with you and could lead to aggression in future if not handled well. Would I have known of this fact when I have a Jack Russell of 14 years with me? No. I've learnt these all in the shelter.

Extracted from The Dog Behaviorist :
A pack leader is one that teaches dogs to obey by respecting and not obey out of fear. Excessive compulsion causes dogs to obey out of fear, but with a balance and communicating with them by body language will naturally cause them to obey out of respect.

To be a strong pack leader to dogs, You have to learn to be a leader yourself towards humans. There will never be such a thing as only a good leader to dogs.

A leader is one who respects their members first. Understanding the member and providing support to a member before themselves. A leader never looses their cool, but always remains calm but firm to put boundaries in place. A leader is one who is sincere and never longing for power. A leader is one who dares to admit to their mistakes. A leader is one who is able to listen without judgements.

Strays are really beautiful, and I can't express how much courage, dignity and respect they have for each other, dogs and humans alike, unlike domestic dogs as they are not born & bred in the wild. Still, sometimes when I look at my dog, Rex, I am thankful that he does understand what we meant and he knows of the Do's and Don'ts (with exceptions that he will defy sometimes). But one thing is for sure though : Dogs love us unconditionally, no matter their breed, size, or where they come from. 

I hope this video inspiress everyone out there to change their views that strays are not dirty, dangerous and probably disgraceful. In fact, we are the ones instead. We are the ones who have strayed too far to even notice that we are nothing close to being selfless, compassionate & understand that this world does not only belong to us humans alone. 

4th day at SOSD

Remember Sharky? I got to walk her again today and I'm glad we managed to walk further without me having to tug her much unlike last week's session. She seems like she's getting used to me now as she will kiss me more often! Haha! 

The pack was supposed to be heading to the pet run but we couldn't make it as it started raining hence we had to

Run back to the shelter!

After which, it's time for their meals and Sharky seemed to eat better when boiled salmon was mixed with her kibbles, courtesy of Stasha! 

The dogs waiting for their meal to be served.

I got a lift back from Cheryl, one of the vollies there and thank god for foldable bicycles! Yay! :) 

Was supposed to head to Bukit Brown but it was postponed to tmr. I've already gotten my Tetanus jab & it costed S$25 as I took it at the nearby clinic. My left arm feels kinda numb still though. 

Sigh, ever since I joined SOSD, I'm more aware of animals (welfare)? Around me. I saw a fb video on a cop shooting down a dog and I just can't believe that the owner would leave the dog in his car while he gets handcuffed. And that the cop shot the dog who was actually trying to protect its owner and yet... Was shot dead. 

And another sad note...

Why would people keep a pet when they are a couple/married and then discard it when they have kids? YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T THINK OF THAT?!!?!?!!

Owners should undergo Orientation courses before they adopt a dog so that they'll be prepared for the Do's & Don'ts, and that keeping a pet is a life-long commitment, and not something which you can give up halfway due to another major change in your life like having a baby, moving house, etc..

I don't know what else to say for these undeserved plights that these poor animals have to suffer & go through due to our lack of commitment and selfishness which easily abandons them without any qualms..... 

(Each time I look at these animals, and I look back at my own, it makes me treasure and love Rex even more. And give thanks that my grandma holds firm on Rex wherever she goes, never once thinking of giving him away even though there's some frictions in my family. Also.. Now that I'm a part of this AWG, I want to do my best and give love to all the rescued dogs by being competent in having the right handling techniques for the better good of both the dogs and myself.)

All it takes is a while.

"I guess after awhile of ignoring, we get tired of being angry and instead we feel sad. We get reminded once in awhile why we're not talking in the first place, but there comes a point where there's no more anger..

Just disappointment."

3rd day at SOSD

Yesterday was my 3rd day at the shelter and I'm slowly beginning to experience how things are being done everyday. 

For the first time, I got to walk Sharky (as pictured above) and she always wanted to head back into the shelter. There was once she resisted so hard that I could see how much I lacked of confidence as well as the determination to push her forward. 

If I could, I really do want to be confident like others too.. 

On a happier note, I got to walk another dog, White Socks with the supervision of Vanessa and the feeling of being in sync with your dog while walking is truly a wonderful feeling and it's as if your mind suddenly blanked out from all areas and you're just focusing on walking. 

Walking your dog is indeed a great way to clear your mind. :)

Day 2 at SOSD

Pepper, who was so afraid of noise and us that the corner of the wall seems to be her only comfort. I hope she will be able gain more confidence and start loving the "hand" which she has a phobia of. I really wonder how one is able to lift their hand up to shatter their image that our 5 fingers meant a pat on their heads, a rub on their tummy and NOT something abusive. The hurt she felt must've been so immense that she shivers upon the sight of my hand slowly advancing towards her. However, for the first time today, we were able to get her to walk further away from her comfort zone with the help of treats though she moved back right away and she even nibbled treats off my fingers. I really hope she will be able to be confident as she once was.

Today, I also dog-walked for the very first time. Indeed, it is tedious work as I needed more strength to hold them and also to ensure that they do not cross my path. I still have loads more to learn. 

Leaving

I was just told by my helper that she's leaving next month. Seems like her mind really is made up and there's nothing we can do to make her stay. 

Her goal of working here has already been achieved: To pay up her loan, and she has paid up everything this month. 

I know that everyone is selfish in their own way.. But as a FDW, aren't you supposed to put away everything back at home and about yourself when you come to work in someone's family? Just because your loan has already been paid up doesn't give you a valid & acceptable reason in employers view to "go home".

It's just not fair. So you can just leave and leave us panicking cause we've got an elderly at home to care for. 

Then my question is.. Why work as a foreign domestic worker when you can work as something else that doesn't need such a long contract period? 

Singapore is all about bonds, contracts and compensations, isn't it? 

But what about the foreigners who breached them? Why do we have to be the ones scratching our heads and frantically search for a replacement within this 1 month before she waves goodbye with no strings attached?

"Everything happens for a reason"

I'm going to the shelter tmr! Finally... My mind IS made up & I'm glad prolly that's why I'm here with this community. I hope I'll be able to become strong, if not stronger when I'm faced with unfortunate and unfair circumstances around these poor animals. 

I guess this is really "my time" cause guess what!

My dad bought aircon's for our rooms after a decade of not using and he got this foldable bicycle at a steal price of S$28! 

The only thing I didn't like was it was too low for my liking and the front part of the steering doesn't seem to be tightened fully even though my dad did so. & just in time! I can use this to cycle tmr! I just hope I won't be tired from all the cycling haha! 

Now I know why some bicycles are nearer to the ground as they are foldable ones, and that's Rexmyboy! Haha so cute he's reacting to the sounds of the bell my brother is making! 

I'm looking forward for tmr! :))

SOSD

2 weeks ago, BunnyBoi and I went to the farmway and we happened to pass by SOSD (Save Our Street Dogs) open house & went in.

We were directed into the kennels where it's only accessible by their staffs & volunteers, and there's a couple of dogs there who were in cages as they are one of the few dogs with distemper.

I didn't take any pictures of them cause I felt I wouldn't like it if I was caged up/suffering/lonely too.

I've always been contemplating about volunteering and also I wasn't able to offer my help at ALL's, missed out on M&M's enrolment intake, I've hence finally made up my mind to contact SOSD. 

I hope I'll be accepted because I do have some issues with myself that needs "fostering", and I think it has alot to do with my mental well-being & I guess that by helping out, I'm helping myself too. 

I'm gonna take this leap and get out of my zone for once!

"A family that eats together, stays together"

I'm really glad that my family has finally decided to get a helper cause not only does the houseworks get done, we also get to have dinner every night! Gone were the days where I'm always home and would head straight into my room. I love home cooked meals best and having dinner with my family seated together even though we hardly exchange conversations. & now that my brother is extremely busy with work, having dinner with all of us together is also something that's hard to come by. 

I just hope that some issues could just be taken with a pinch of salt and seen with what's currently been done instead of the end result. 

Edit: Sigh, my happiness really is short-lived. I woke up this morning to hear that my maid has already made up her mind to terminate her contract come Jan 2014 when her contract ends at Dec 2014?!!

I'll have to draft up a breach of contract terms pronto!! HELP!